What you've been waiting for.

Managed to find the pic last night.
As soon as we did I got ill.
Marianne was not having that so she made me take another pic.
Still, I was not satisfied.
My stomach is still the same, you won't change my mind.
I was hysterical, bawling my eyes out.
Yes, I do see the differences.
But when they are not where I want them to be it's hard to be happy.

Left is from February 2010, Right was last night.

pictures

I still have not found the original "before" picture.
And I was at Marianne's last night and forgot to see if she still had a copy.

So, I think I'm just going to post a "now" picture.
I really do not want to.
BUT, I think doing so will help motivate me... somehow

Be on the lookout!

ugh

I have sucked at my mission this week.
the end.

Goal ReCap

I did not do good last week, at all.
I did better on the weekend, which is weird...

Mon 3/8
Tues 3/8
Wed 3/8
Thurs 3/8
Fri 3/8
Sat 5/8
Sun 6/8

Total: 26/56

I did get a shot at the fat doctor on Friday.
It's a new one I've never had before so maybe it'll do something amazing. haha

I'm on a mission this week.
& I will prevail!

Skinny

It's a good day. Why?

Because I feel skinny today...

Thought I'd share my progress with you.

I took a picture a long time ago, at my max, but cannot find it. Think it may be on the ex's computer. But when I find it I will show you my progress. Bet I throw up...

Lack of motivation...

If you've paid any attention to my meal pics on Twitter you will know how sucky I have been doing with food. Why? Because I can...

I do plan on getting serious next week though.
I have to go to the grocery store.
If I have the food, I will not buy the bad stuff.

& I've got to get serious about kicking this caffeine habit again.
I'm so angry with myself for falling off that wagon!
BUT it's so nice not having headaches! ugh
I've only been having 1 Mt Dew in the morning, but still.

I'm going to the fat doctor tomorrow to beg them to give me shots in my stomach. Wish me luck!!!

I think I have a new motivational plan.
Let me know if you think it's completely ridiculous... srsly
I want to be super picky in my next male situation.
I mean like, I want him to be sooo buff and cut.
And I feel like I need to be on that same track before I can be picky.
Doesn't that make sense? It does in my head...

I'm going out tomorrow night.
First night out in over 4 years. No lie.
And since I refuse to buy new clothes yet I had to squeeze into one of my old jean skirts. Luckily Marianne had a shirt I could wear with it. And she bought me the super cute necklace you see in the pic. Let me know how this looks.
I feel like it's kinda muffin toppy...

Plans / Goals

I need lists in my life.
Ideas in my head do not work for me.

Workout Plan:
- cardio 5x a week (mon-sun)
- strength training 2x a week
- ab workout on lunch breaks & after cardio
- lunges before bed

Eating Plan:
- 3 meals. no more skipping dinner!
- water ONLY
- take pic of meals (will post on twitter)


Every Monday I will post a weekly recap.

decided

Ok, I did some research...

& decided I don't believe in "spot reduction."

Does that mean I'm not gonna try? Nope.

Maybe it'll prove me wrong. lol

Let's Get Serious

Just as I feared, the scale is not budging. At all.

But before I get all negative,
I need to remind myself of the positives:

* I'm happy with my legs. I'm ok with them not losing any more fat. And most of the horrid cellulite is gone. (skinny bitches have leg dimples, I'm over that.) They could use a tiny bit toning. But as long as I keep up with the treadmill then I know I'm in good shape.

* I'm happy with my face. I can now take a pic and be happy with it. Instead of having to retake it over and over because I had so many rolls.

* I'm happy with my arms. They need some toning but the fat is gone.

My only negative at this point is my stomach. It's gonna drive me straight to the mad house. I do not understand how the fat is not going away! Granted, it's shrunk enough that I can suck in again and that makes me happy. haha

I just absolutely dread doing ab workouts when there is so much fat there. I feel like it would be completely useless. I don't feel like an ab workout burns as much fat as say cardio would. But I have to get over that, I'm going to have to start going psycho obsessive on my abs and my abs only.

I'm almost to the point of not worrying about the numbers anymore. Because now when I look at myself I do not see 15 pounds left to lose. It may be there, I just don't see it. So, I think I'm not going to weigh for a few weeks. Think I can stick to it?

Plateau

I'm fearing a horrid plateau...

I just know these last 15 pounds are gonna be HELL.

If the scale doesn't change next Monday,
it'll be time for drastic measures.

Fat Doctor

Went to the fat doctor yesterday.
I'm not exactly sure how long it's been,
but it's been at least 6 weeks...

I've lost 10 pounds since I've been.
They all wanted to know what the big secret was.
I told them "I left my husband. It's amazing what happiness can do."

I got more phen.
Hoping it'll help me drop these last 15 pounds!
They tried to talk me into a shot but it didn't work.
I haven't had one and have been losing, no reason to waste money...

Words to live by...

Boobs & Butt

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160!

So, I bought me a scale.
A digital one. Even though I remember hating the last one I had because it always said something different. Like, If I stepped right back on to verify.
Anyway, this one is legit.
I stepped on it 3 times to verify and it confirmed 160 every time.
It was a wonderful way to start the weekend!

I'm thinking I should have held out longer though because seeing a 6 pound loss from last time I weighed is effing amazing! I almost went thru the roof. srsly!

I was very nervous it was going to show a gain.
But I think the mirror and my eyes are playing tricks on me.
Like maybe I just think my stomach is getting bigger because everything else is shrinking and it's not...

I wanted to go get some more phen today but I've spent too much money this week and want to go to the beach this weekend if I get the chance. Yes, I realize those priorities might not be in the right order but um, I've lost 25 pounds and think I can slip up. I will go next Friday to get them though. Hopefully it'll speed up the last 15 pounds!

In other news, I'm doing better on the treadmill.
Like I will walk inclined for 5 minutes then run for as long as I can then slow back down again until I'm not about to die then I'll run again. I was nervous I would get shin pains but I haven't so I should be good to go. Eventually I would love to just be able to run the whole time. But some people just aren't runners. Period. lol

Victoria's Secret

As with most women, I've always wanted a VS bathing suit.
Bikini to be more precise.

Although summer is already under way,
I have every plan to buy a Victoria's Secret bathing suit to be able to wear before beach weather goes away once I can reach a weight loss goal.

I can't decide on my goal for it though.
I really don't think I'm going to get down to 145 without being a skeleton.
But maybe I'm wrong...

I'm thinking I'm going to do it once I lose 25 pounds.
Which is only 6 pounds away...
& I bought a digital scale today so no more excuses.

Eventually I will be taking votes for help because I'm undecided on these babies: