Wednesday, October 27, 2010

2 days down

2 days in a row at the gym.
60 mins on the treadmill last night.
Even did a tiny bit of abs & lunges.
Mostly a lot of stretching afterwards.

I am sore as FUCK.

Sore in places I didn't think the treadmill could make me sore.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

funny story

It's only funny now.
It was NOT funny yesterday when it happened.

Some of you may know that I gave up Cokes.
All dark sodas to be more specific.

It has been over a year since I've had any.
It was a horrible process.
Caffeine is a serious drug.
(yes, I gave back in to that. just not Cokes.)
Headache for about 4 days straight.

I know Cokes were a serious issue for me.
About 5 a day to none, cold turkey.
I have avoided them like the plague.
I even almost choked to death one time because all that was in my reach was a Coke and I positively refused to put it in my mouth.

Well, I ordered a sweet tea from McDonalds last night.
The dumb bitches gave me Coke.
I didn't know until I took a sip. obvi.
I was driving. Almost wrecked.
Seriously had a mental breakdown.
It was like cocaine. In my mouth.

I was so upset and disappointed.
I had worked sooo hard. And it had been destroyed.
I know it wasn't my fault but it still stung. Bad.
I teared up and wanted to bawl my eyes out.

& OMG did I want to drink the rest of that Coke.
Marianne had to dump it down the sink when we got to her house.

My skin was crawling.
I was shaking.
I wanted to throw up and get it out of my stomach.

I am positively astounded at how I reacted.
It's actually quite scary to me.
I was not prepared for it to affect me that bad.

You may think I'm crazy, but addictions are serious.
Think of something you're addicted to.
Think about giving it up.
Think about being forced to take it back unprepared.

But I will not cave. I'm not giving in because that happened.
No matter how bad I want to...


I went to the gym last night.
It was an effing miracle.
Because I was NOT in the mood for it.

Luckily, the bestie went with me.

I did 54 minutes on the treadmill.
Had I been at home, we all know I would have done only 15. haha

I think we're gonna try and go every night.
But we shall see....

I feel pretty good today.
I'm glad I went.
Except all those mirrors.
Why does there need to be a mirror behind me on the treadmill? gross

Monday, October 25, 2010


Up 1 pound.

15 to go.
Little over 5 weeks to do it within my goal.


Oatmeal for breakfast,
I'm off to a good start...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

motivation needed

I didn't weigh in last Monday.

I wanted to reach my goal by my birthday.
I have 5 weeks to lose 14 lbs. (if I'm still at 154 tomorrow)
Yes, that is totally accomplishable.

I don't have enough phentermine to last me that long.
But I am not getting anymore. It didn't work good enough.

I'm still paying $25 a month for the gym.
And nope, I don't go. Been twice.
That's gonna change this week.
But I'm gonna go for cardio.
Yes, I know I have a treadmill at home.
But it's too easy to not get on at home.
Or to get off after 15 minutes.
Hopefully I can find more motivation at the gym.

I've lost a good amount of weight.
But I still have really bad days.
I have a closet full of clothes that I cannot wear.
And that is quite heartbreaking.
The worst part is that I'm really close to being able to wear them...

Monday, October 11, 2010


That's a 4 lb drop from last weigh in day.
Yes, I know it's only 2 from the last time I weighed.

Regardless, it's pretty damn exciting!
Only 14 lbs to go!

It is completely possible that I reach my goal weight before my birthday. Now let's just see if I can do it.

Obviously, the phen is working.
Of course I forgot to take it this morning.
I'm thinking I may just take every other day and see how that goes.

I have to go to the thrift store today.
None of my work pants fit anymore. ugh

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Yes, I know it's not weigh-in day but 156 is monumental.

It's the lowest I have been since since 187.

So, it deserved a post. obvi.

I just want to go streaking in the street.
Ok, not really. But you get my point.

Monday, October 4, 2010


Still at 158.
But I can't find it in myself to complain about that...

I got some phentermine Friday.
Well, I got the RX but haven't picked it up yet.
I've been stuck too long, gonna give it another shot.

All of my work pants officially do not fit.
It's quite frustrating to be honest.