Thursday, February 10, 2011

lil update

I didn't throw out my scale...

The more I thought about it,
the more I realized I need that reminder.
Because HELLO 15 lbs jumped on within a blink.

I was going to go back to the fat doctor.
But I couldn't go back to my old one.
(half the nurses are friends w/the ex.)
Turns out I'm outta luck. I waited too long.
I can't get in to see one until March 2.
I'll be in LA by then...

I took it as a sign, that I need to do this myself.
I need to make lifestyle changes.

Today started water day.
No more calories from drinks.
Baby steps people.

Once I get settled in LA,
I will be setting goals for myself.

Yes, I know I tend to not keep them.
But I still need them.
I have way more motivation this time.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Ohhh AND

Don't expect any updates on this blog until about March.

You know, after the BIG MOVE! (:

Big Decision Made

I've made the decision to chunk my scale.

I'm going to end up in a mental institution if I keep getting on it
and see the number go up and up.

I look at myself and do not see a 15 lb gain.
So it may not be the best idea to get rid of the scale.

But I'm going to start measuring myself.

And maybe, just maybe this ordeal has been so difficult
because I'm focused on the number...
I just want to look at myself and be happy.


I'm not lieing.

I've gained 15 lbs in 5 weeks.
That's 3 lbs a week.

I am devasted.

I don't feel or look like I've gained it back.
idk what's going on, but it sucks. hard core.