Monday, April 5, 2010

Rock Bottom

I've officially hit rock bottom.
And it's really painful down here.

It has warmed up here and I'm sick of wearing sweaters.
So, I went through my closet yesterday.
That was a really bad idea.
Nothing fits. I do mean nothing.
Well, it fits. But it looks disgusting.
It took every bit of self control I had to not go put my face in the toilet and throw up my guts.

And I'll be honest, I got to the toilet.
But somehow held back from putting my finger down my throat.
I settled for lots and lots and lots of tears.

While sitting on the bathroom floor, a lightbulb went off.
*I have my priorities all jacked up.*

For instance, I haven't worked out since Thursday.
Why? Let's just say I DO NOT have a good excuse.
From here forward my weightloss is my Top Priority. Period.

No more going and doing stuff to distract me.
If I want to do something then it will have to be after I work out.
Telling myself I'll do it later obviously does not work.

For the past few months my goal has been to lose weight so I could buy a cute outfit to wear to the Bon Jovi concert. Has that worked? No. Which means it's time for short term goals. Like every week. Maybe you think that's not good. But it's clear that long term goals are not working for me.

My goal for this week is 2 lbs. (181)


Yani said...

i feel u on that on :0( i feel the same way i have work out for 2 1/2 month every day for 2 hrs for no efin results??? why i dont know but hey good luck 2 u and i will send u the papers tomorrow since im not in school no more so im relax!!! GOOD LUCK JESS AND FALLOW MY BLOG I JUST OPEN IT NO @ LONG AGO AND i dont have any fallowers lol maybe im just boring lol well take care(is on my facebook under info) take care yani

Donna Jo said...

Hey girl. I think short term goals are good. I don't have any. But I will when I get down to 150..which is my main goal & -163lbs, gross..But it will be off of me, so that's a plus.. lol.. I need to do what you said, and make my top priority working out. It's just too easy to say "oh, I'll just go run this errand (shopping, lol) and then I'll change clothes and go to the gym" haha! I never make it to the gym... I did it all this weekend.. But anywho! I hope these short term goals work for you. I think they are a great idea. And Good luck girly!