2nd appt at Aspen Clinic recap

I had my 2nd appointment at the Aspen Clinic (the fat doctor) today.

It was a very successful appointment. It put me in a wonderful mood!

I've lost 11 pounds in 4 weeks.
I didn't believe this was going to be good but apparently it is.
I've lost 22 pounds total since starting this journey.
Still have about 20 to go.

My BMI went from 27.8 to 26.0
BMR from 1621 to 1571
Fat % from 40.6 to 39.1 (goal is 21-33%)
Fat Mass from 72 to 65 (goal is 28-52 lbs)

The doctor was very encouraging. He brought to light that I've lost 11 pounds even though I didn't do anything they advised. I haven't been keeping a food journal. I watch my portions but not what I eat. I haven't been exercising. I've even been drinking caffeine.

Now lets all imagine the outcome had I been doing this the correct way.
Yeah, I pretty much want to punch myself.
Lesson learned.

169

It was such a relief to see no 7 on the scale this morning.

I've lost 7 pounds in 9 days.
If I keep this trend up I will be good to go.

I'm going to try really hard to start exercising tomorrow.
I am scared to death it's going to make the scale stop moving though.

Yes, I know I should throw the scale away but I just can't.
Not yet anyway...

for the millionth time

Well, I made the decision to go back to a fat doctor for some pills. I know a lot of people don't agree with this. But me? I don't agree with all the fad diets. I need a lifestyle change and only pills can help with that. I'm hoping that one month will give me the boost I need to get back on track but two is my max.

I chose the Aspen Clinic in Baton Rouge as I have a friend that goes there and my boss has been. Both gave me good reviews. And of course, it had to be better than the ghetto place I was going to in Alabama.

My appointment was at 8:15. On a Saturday, yes it sucked. I have been throught the process before so I was mostly bored and not learning anything new. But they did have a nifty body composition scale that I paid $35 to use. BUT I can use if for a year. It told me all kinds of things. Most of which I didn't want to know.

BMI: 27.8 (this is not ok, this is obese and I was not prepared for that)
BMR: 1621 (this is how many calories my body burns, I was put on a 1200 calorie diet)
Fat %: 40.6 (that sounds like a lot huh? I need to be 21-33%)
Fat Mass: 72 lbs (I need to be 28-52 lbs)
FFM: 105.5 lbs (I forget exactly but this is what I'd weigh without fat basically)

The nurse told me I could have a goal weight of 110 pounds. This floored me and does not seem realistic at all. I told her I think my goal is 145, if I want lower when I reach there then so be it.

The doctor told me to throw my scale away and only weigh once a month at my office visit. I just do not know if I can do this, but I'm gonna try.

I relearned all the usuals. Like write down everything you eat. Only drink water. Watch your portions. yada yada yada. I know all this, I just need the motivation to do it.

And let me explain to you why I need the help of pills. I'm not just an emotional eater. I'm an anytime eater. I'll eat just because there's food. I'll eat all of what's in front of me even if I'm not hungry. I've been like that for as long as I can remember. I just love food. The trick is, learning to love healthier foods.

I was told to avoid all fried foods for the first month to boost up the fat loss. I'm very anxious to not only see if I can do this, but see if it works.

I'm not going to try and do anything drastic. That falls under fad diet to me. I just have to learn to make better choices, and not all at once.

And since I haven't been getting any excercise they advised me to start with 3 days a week at 30 mins for the first 2 weeks. I think this is a good idea because I know I will get burnt out quick at first. Though doc did advise that I march quickly in place for 5 mins twice a day to get my muscles on a routine. This was a new idea and I'm anxious to try it out.

I weigh 176 right now. My goal is 145 so I only made a short term goal since that is only 31 lbs

My goal is to be 145 by October 31, a little over 3 months.

Wish me luck!

173

I thought I was slowing putting the weight back on, but I didn't realize it was 10 pounds.

I was in denial until I started seeing it in my face again.

And I hate myself for it. I am so disgusted.

I went through the backlog of this blog and was devastated.

I've been struggling on this journey for 2 years!

I only need to lose about 40 pounds.

There's no way that should take 2 years.

I should have accomplished it in 6 months!

I don't even know what to do. Or say.

I just know it's struck a deep nerve.

Deeper than it has ever struck.

163

The last few times I've weighed, my lovely scale has said 163.

And though I'm proud it's relatively low and consistent,
I still wish it said 153 like it did not too long ago.

Thinking I gained 10 lbs when I only had 10 to go makes me want to vomit.

27 days until summer.
I've been in my bathing suit 4 times already.
No, it wasn't a pretty sight.
I'm so disgusted with myself.

170

I'm back up to 170.

I'm on week 3 of no sodas.

I'm so sick of being fat.

Day One

I got on the treadmill last night.
A whole 30 minutes.
BUT I did an incline, which I normally don't do.

It's all about starting slow.
I'm not trying to kill myself.

I also went without soda yesterday.
You all know how big of a feat that is.

& I only had sweet tea with lunch.

I haven't decided if I'm gonna give up sweet tea all together yet.
I do know it won't be until I've successfully given up soda.

Baby steps. Baby steps.