165

This blog stresses me out.

I say I'm gonna do stuff,
but then I don't.

So, I'm not gonna say I'm doing anything until I do it.

Wish me luck!

I'm back

& I'm ready to get serious.

I've been on and off the phentermine

but it's no longer working.

I have 10 days left and then it's gone.

I've made it a personal mission

to worry more about exercising

than about what I eat.

I know for a fact that I can basically eat what I want

when I'm working out.

So, it's time to put that to use.

Yes, I'm still gonna watch what I eat.

I just won't be so fanatical about it

as long as I'm getting my exercise.

Im going to start getting up at 6am

and getting on the treadmill.

& I'm going to try and do my cardio dvd at night.

BUT, I won't fret about missing my nightime workout

so long as I did my morning one. 

I want to get into better habits.

I don't want this to be temporary.

I want it to be part of my life routine.

I'm going to give up soda and tea again.

The dark sodas will be hard.

Tea, not so much since it's hard to find good tea here.

I'm hoping and praying I can stick with this.

I'm sick of being miserable.

164

Just a little not say I've lost a few pounds.

Back down to 164.

I only took the phentermine for 2 weeks because I got sick.

I've been off it for a week.

I'm going to start it again on Monday.

I still have yet to work out.

I'm such a slacker. ugh

lil update

I didn't throw out my scale...
BIG SHOCKER!

The more I thought about it,
the more I realized I need that reminder.
Because HELLO 15 lbs jumped on within a blink.

I was going to go back to the fat doctor.
But I couldn't go back to my old one.
(half the nurses are friends w/the ex.)
Turns out I'm outta luck. I waited too long.
I can't get in to see one until March 2.
I'll be in LA by then...

I took it as a sign, that I need to do this myself.
I need to make lifestyle changes.

Today started water day.
No more calories from drinks.
Baby steps people.

Once I get settled in LA,
I will be setting goals for myself.

Yes, I know I tend to not keep them.
But I still need them.
I have way more motivation this time.

Ohhh AND

Don't expect any updates on this blog until about March.

You know, after the BIG MOVE! (:

Big Decision Made

I've made the decision to chunk my scale.

I'm going to end up in a mental institution if I keep getting on it
and see the number go up and up.

I look at myself and do not see a 15 lb gain.
So it may not be the best idea to get rid of the scale.

But I'm going to start measuring myself.

And maybe, just maybe this ordeal has been so difficult
because I'm focused on the number...
I just want to look at myself and be happy.

170

I'm not lieing.

I've gained 15 lbs in 5 weeks.
That's 3 lbs a week.

I am devasted.

I don't feel or look like I've gained it back.
idk what's going on, but it sucks. hard core.