struggling

Yesterday was hard.
& I mean HARD.

I had breakfast, a snack, lunch, a snack, dinner & a snack. & not once, never, did I feel full. Not even satisfied. I seriously felt like I was starving. Like I hadn't ate in days.

This is not helpful when I'm trying to lose weight and learn how to eat better. It is a very good thing I had gotten rid of all the junk food in my office!

I know I'm hungry this morning because my dinner didn't turn out last night. I tried my hand at fish and it was horrible. And not my fault, it was the fish. Lesson learned, by fresh not frozen. So, I ended up having a can of green beans and a salad for dinner. And when I say salad I mean lettuce and sweet peppers with fat free salad dressing. No cheese, bacon bits or any of that good stuff.

Which leads me to the whole WW Points situation.
I only had 15 points yesterday.
I'm supposed to have 24.

But can I help it if veggies have no point value and I eat a lot of them?

I'm not sure what to do. I've been told to make sure I get all my points (and maybe that would have helped my hunger.) But I don't feel like I should eat just to get points.

Although, I'm sure if my fish had turned out I would've been around 24 points. So, maybe I shouldn't worry about what happened yesterday and see how the rest of the week goes.

Also, when I went to the fat doctor they gave me a drink to try, Dience. I'm supposed to drink half before lunch and half before dinner to help fill me up. I've been putting it off because I'm afraid it won't taste good and since it's new I can't find any reviews. BUT, I've decided to give it a try today. I'll let you know how that goes...

I lasted a total of 15 minutes on the elliptical.
How pathetic, I know. ugh

6 point lunch

I took a mini bagel.











Split a 3 oz can of tuna on both halves.

















Topped w/WW 1 point Cheddar Cheese & Mustard.








Nuked it in the microwave for 1:30 and voila!

points. points. points.

I didn't do good this weekend.
Sometimes I tried, sometimes I didn't.

BUT, I've been busting ass hard core today!
And I'm starving, if that proves my point.

I tried plain oatmeal this morning.
Not gonna cut it.
I added some cinnamon & sugar to it and still couldn't force it down.

Good thing I had a backup plan.
Whole wheat mini bagel with WW cream cheese.
3 points. That made me happy!
I wasn't sure that lil thing of cream cheese was gonna cut it but it turned out to be perfect for the mini bagel!

For lunch I'm gonna have a bagel with tuna and WW cheese.
Hope it's good. I've got to start eating that a few times a week.

Dinner is what's gonna be entertaining.
Wednesday & Thursdays are the only nights Kevin will be home so I've got to figure out something for myself for dinner. I bought some fish, hopefully I can figure out a good way to season it up. I also bought lots of green beans. Wonder how fast I'll get sick of them?

Fruit is expensive right now.
I ended up buying a bag of frozen berries.
I don't know how they're gonna go over just yet...

189

189. wow.
That's what the scale said at the fat doctor.
Granted, I'm wearing jeans, a heavy hoodie and tennis shoes.
Think it all weighs 4 pounds? I hope so...

Pretty sure I would have fell out had it said 190 though.
So, maybe I should be slightly thankful.

I got 2 shots. The Combo.
They did NOT hurt as bad as I remember.
I think it's only because Mrs. Vickie did it though.
I hope she sticks with me when I come in. haha

I got the food speech:
Nothing white or fried.
(I already have the no caffeine down.)
Eat lots of protein.
(Tips on protein foods would be helpful.)
Eat lots of green beans & strawberries because they're fat burners.
(Check, I can def do that!)
& instead of using salt use something spicy.
(got Chipotle Mrs. Dash in the cabinet!)

The only thing I didn't like was being told to eat 5 meals a day. I just HATE that. Makes me crazy. If I'm not hungry, I do not want to eat! But, they suggested a handful of nuts (protein.)

I also didn't like being told to change it up.
Eat something different every day.
I can do that for dinner and maybe lunch but breakfast will be hard.

30 minutes of cardio ever day. yikes.
I can do it though. I will do it!

Fat Doc Day

I did not weigh in this morning.

I had my jeans and shoes on before I realized I needed to. Then remembered I had done nothing this week to even consider losing an ounce. So, I passed.

I am going to the fat doctor today.
They will weigh me. But I never go by their weight. Simply because it will be in the middle of the day after I've ate 2 meals and with all my clothes and shoes on. I go by my scale. Period.

I'm kinda nervous.
Why? idk.
It's not like I haven't tried this a million times.
Hopefully I can stick with it this time.

Hubbs starts his night schedule next week.
I've got every oppurtunity to be successful.
I just have to get motivated. And fast.
I'm hoping my friend Marianne will be my workout buddy.
It's always easier that way...

I'll let you know what the fat doctor says. ugh

nightmare

I had a dream last night that I woke up and was skinny.

Like the skinniest I have ever been in my life.

Then I got on the scale and it said 185...

WTF does that mean??!?

no loss

again.

I'm 2 pounds behind schedule.

Maybe I'll have better luck next week...

dreadful

I am completely dreading my weigh in tomorrow!

I don't think I've gained any,

but it still is gonna suck...

I've only worked out once this week.

I've been sick and it just wasn't going to happen.

I'm hoping I can do it today though.

Oh, NO!

Today is day 174 of no soda or tea.

I am sick. Sore throat and a nasty cough.

& guess what I'm craving???

A Large Coke from Sonic.

I just know it would make me feel better!

I am struggling. hard core.

BUT, I will not give in.

I'll just be miserable alllll day. ugh

Motivated, finally!

I have a feeling I will jump around today.
So, just try to stick with me.

I only worked out 5 times last week (sat. to sat.).
For a total of an hour and 45 minutes.
And here I was wondering why I didn't lose any weight...

I kept track of points while at work but not once home.
BUT, I do not snack at home.
I'm not lieing, there is no snack food at my house.
And we didn't eat anything horrible for dinner so I believe I was in the clear.

I am almost out of my stockpile of Squirt.
And when it's gone, it's gone.
It will be strictly water from here on out.

I have 2, yes 2, friends going to fat doctors.
(Should I maybe not call 'em that?)
And both are seeing amazing results.
I finally have motivation to go back.

I don't quite remember why I quit or why I never went back. I think maybe I wanted to be She-Woman and do it cold turkey. But obviously that's not going to work. Originally I had said I wanted to lose 10 pounds before even considering it, but at this point I'm thinking that will help me shed those 10 pounds quick. I'm not going to take pills, those did not agree with me last time. I'm hoping I will be able to start within the next few weeks.

& starting today I am not eating anything white except oatmeal, if that's considered white. No bread, popcorn, potatoes, nothing white. I've never done anything so drastice except caffeine so I'm very anxious to see how this pans out.

185

No loss, as I assumed.
UGH...

I was doing super good on the treadmill last night.
Until it decideds to just STOP. Dead in it's tracks. Literally.
I don't know how I didn't break something.

So, I switched over to the elliptical.
Lasted all of maybe 5 minuntes.
Wonderful.

This is gonna be harder than it has ever been.
Simply becuase I'm in the worse shape I've ever been.

oopsie

I didn't work out last night. ugh

It was a bad day and my hips wore still sore from just 10 mins on the elliptical. I know I shouldn't make excuses and the hubbs tried to get me to do something but I refused.

And tomorrow is weigh in day.
I'm almost positive I haven't lost a single pound....

On another note,
I stocked up on the Healthy Choice meals.
The one I had yesterday was super yummy and it was only 5 WW points!

I've been kinda keeping track of points.
ie: I do it all day at work but then not when I have dinner at home.
Bad, I know.

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elliptical & treadmill

My treadmill took a crap last night.
It's been acting up since we spent $100 on it from friends...
Kevin took it apart and it worked perfect for 3 whole days and now it's back to being stupid. I was already ill last night before I even attempted to work out so when it wouldn't work I just told Kevin to throw it out. I doubt he's done it, but anyway.

I lasted a whole 10 minutes on the elliptical.
I HATE that thing!
My hips and knees can't take it.
But, I've got to just push through the pain.

If it wasn't believe freezing I'd walk outside...

h e l p

I just had a frozen Weight Watchers lunch.
It did absolutely nothing for my hunger.
Maybe it's because I only had 1 packet of oatmeal for breakfast...

Anyway, I need help.
What are your tricks for curbing hunger?
Don't say water, I already drink it like a fish and it doesn't do anything.

beHOT

I found these in my cabinet over the weekend.

Gonna give them another shot.

I'm not going to buy any more,

but I might as well use what I have.

disgusted

I just got back on the treadmill for the first time in many months.
It kicked my ass. Hard core!

When I was done I decided I wanted to take a before picture to compare to my after at the end of 6 months. BAD IDEA!

I was gonna put it on here,
but there's no way that's happening.

Yes, I will eventually.
Like maybe after I lose the 40 lbs.

185

I'm starting the New Year at 185 pounds.
My goal is 145.
I have exactly 40 pounds to lose.
And hopefully I will have done so by June.

My weigh in days will be Fridays.
Wish me luck!